Totally Biased NFL Picks: Week Two

Week one of the 2012 NFL season was filled with surprises, upsets, and twists.

Robert Griffin and the Redskins taking down the Drew Brees in New Orleans? Crazy.

How about the Tampa Bay defense stifling Cam Newton to only five yards rushing? Unthinkable. 

Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan combining for seven scores, and looking like elite quarterbacks? You best believe it.

Then of course, you had totally predictable things occur.

The Giants laying a total egg on primetime? Used to it.

How about New England dismantling Tennessee? Yep, pretty much saw that one coming.

Oh, how about this one, I totally DESTROYED Kris on our week one selections. See? I told you some of it was predictable.

Kris’ picks reminded me of hot, rotting garbage. Smelly

His picks reminded me of 1997’s “Batman and Robin.” Awful.

Hell, I’ll get right to it. 

His picks reminded me of Wes Welker’s hands in Superbowl XLVI. Just. Bad.

I welcome you ladies and gentlemen, to Totally Biased’s Week Two picks. And remember, if you’re filling out a football card this week, and you need some advice, just  check out that handy dandy leaderboard before choosing your ally.

The gauntlet has been thrown.

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The Leaderboard

Travis: — 13 – 3 — 81.25%
Kris: —— 9 – 7 — 56.25%

Lock of the Week: 1 – 0

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Thursday Night Throwdown: Chi-Town vs GB, Round 1

Trav: Green Bay Packers
Kris: Green Bay Packers

Trav: That’s right guys, we here at TB were able to hammer out our picks pretty quick this week and sneak in the Thursday night contest.

A lot of people are talking about the Packers possibly but I think that’s a load of garbage. Granted, the defense needs to play a lot better than it did week one, but this is a young, rookie-filled group, and the chemistry will come, trust me. No way the Pack Attack slip to 0-2. Expect Rodgers to have a big game. As for Cedric Benson… Just… No.

Bonus: Don’t have NFL Network? Want to stay up on the game’s action? Well we here at TB have got you covered. For anyone who didn’t already know, we’ll be hosting our first ever live blog during the game, so be sure to check it out!

The Opening Slate: 1PM Games

Trav: New England Patriots
Kris: New England Patriots

Kris: The Cards are coming into Gillette Stadium to stop the mighty Patriots, right!? No. Brady and the Boston TE party will continue to build off their week 1 performance and flex a little muscle on the inferior Cards.

Trav: Oakland Raiders
Kris: Oakland Raiders

Kris: Is there anything I could say that would make you believe the ‘Phins will be any good this year? The answer? The answer is no.

Name more than 5 players on the Dolphins.

That’s right, you can’t. Raiders will come back from a nasty fight with the Chargers and take this one.

Trav: Indianpolis Colts
Kris: Indianapolis Colts

Trav: The Vikings pulled out an incredible week one victory, with rookie Blair Walsh hitting a monster 55 yard field goal as time expired to send the game into overtime, when the Norsemen would eventually win.

Andrew Luck and the Colts weren’t so lucky, getting handled by the Chicago Bears and a ferocious defense. However, I like Indy to bounce back this week, especially since it’s in Lucas Oil Stadium. That crowd is going to get rowdy, seeing Luck for the first time. Colts eek this one out.

Trav: Houston Texans
Kris: Houston Texans

Trav: The Texans looked dominating during their victory over the Dolphins, and look to take their show on the road against the Jacksonville Jaguars, the hard luck losers against Minnesota.

I have the utmost confidence in Arian Foster and Co. this Sunday against Blaine Gabbert and whoever the hell else plays for this pee-wee squad. So much confidence in fact that we here at TB are slapping this one with the “Lock of the Week” tag!

Trav: Cincinnati Bengals
Kris: Cincinnati Bengals

Kris: The Browns are, well, the Browns. 4 INTs by Brandon Weeden shows me that he’s definitely a rookie and taking out the Bengals will be a tough task. That being said, I’d really like to believe the Bengals have got this game on lock.

Trav: Buffalo Bills
Kris: Kansas City Chiefs

Kris: How in the world can the Bills let the Jets put up 48 points on them!? I mean, come on! The Jets scored 1 whole touchdown the entire preseason! The Chiefs held strong against the Falcons… For the first half.

The second frame was a tad different, as the KC secondary broke down and let Matty Ice dominate their D. If these two teams play awful defense like they did in week 1 then they’re not going anywhere. Chiefs win a close one.

Trav: Philadelphia Eagles
Kris: Baltimore Ravens

Kris: This game is our hazard pick as neither of these teams are exactly trust-worthy. The Ravens are coming off a convincing win over the Bungals, which their defense dominated from the get-go.

The Eagles barely escaped Cleveland with their dignity intact, so I’m gonna go with Baltimore this week.

Trav: New Orleans Saints
Kris: New Orleans Saints

Trav: Both of these teams are coming off disappointing week one efforts, with the Saints playing victim to Robert Griffin III and the small cannon attached to his right shoulder. The Panthers were edged out against the Buccaneers, and are hoping for a different outcome in their home debut.

Sorry Carolina, I don’t think it’s in the cards. Although New Orleans won’t win many games throwing the ball 52, and running it for 10, I’m confident that game plan will change this week. The Bayou Bandits bounce back and steal one in Bank of America Stadium. How ironic.

There’s a political pun there. Don’t worry. You’ll get it.

Trav: New York Giants
Kris: New York Giants

Trav: I want to spend as little time as possible touting the Giants as favorites in this game, because lord knows they’ll come out Sunday and stab me in the face. Big Blue is at home, again, and knows that this game is about as “must win” as anyone could have this early in the year. 

With Carolina and Philly scheduled for weeks three and four, it doesn’t get easier to find a first win, only more difficult. The Bucs are coming off a close win against Cam Newton and the Panthers, but I don’t think they make it two in a row. Giants win by 20.

Dammit. I just can’t help it!

Trav: Dallas Cowboys
Kris: Dallas Cowboys

Trav: Tony Romo is coming off of what many people would say is his best performance ever. Seattle is coming off of a loss in Arizona which they squeaked out four timeouts, due to official error, and still couldn’t pull out a W. 

Dallas looks great after the first game, playing some shutdown defense, and playing with a new look high octane offense. As much as I’d like to see Russell Wilson succeed in Seattle, I just don’t see him collecting his first victory this week, because the Dallas defense looked THAT good. 

Look for Dallas in a big victory.

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The Afternoon Delight: 4PM Contests

Trav: Washington Redskins
Kris: Washington Redskins

Trav: Because everyone is going to be talking about RG3 when discussing this week’s tilt against the Rams, I’m going to go in another direction. 

We here at Totally Biased almost tanked our very first Lock of the Week pick, thanks to Sam Bradford leading St. Louis to a near upset against Matt Stafford and Calvin Johnson. Granted, a Stafford-to-Kevin Smith touchdown pass with 10 seconds left on the clock sealed their fate, but the Rams still came to play.

That being said, I’m still taking the talented rookie and the Skins. Hey, can’t win em all St. Louis.

Trav: San Diego Chargers
Kris: San Diego Chargers

Kris: If CJ2YPC runs like he did against the Pats, then surely the Titans will lose.

Four yards… I said FOUR YARDS!

That’s it? Step ya run game up, CJ. Chargers will be as good as Philip Rivers can take them. San Diego takes it.

Trav: Pittsburgh Steelers
Kris: Pittsburgh Steelers

Kris: Them there Jets are purdy good! Scoring all them points, using their fully functional brains and such.

Woo-wee! Hanging 48 points on the Bills isn’t an excuse to get all rowdy, like your gonna have a good season or anything. The Steelers will run the ball 487 times for 3.3 yards per carry and score just enough to beat the Jets.

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Sunday Night Special: Handshake-Gate Round 2

Trav: San Francisco 49’ers
Kris: San Francisco 49’ers

Kris: As much as I want to believe the Lions have a chance, I just can’t. Barely squeaking by the puny Rams isn’t how you start the season. The Niners on the other hand kicked off their season by taking out the Pack. Niners get their first win at home.

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Monday Night Football: Peyton and DT vs Matty Ice and Julio

Trav: Atlanta Falcons
Kris: Atlanta Falcons

Trav: The MNF schedule is looking pretty solid this year for ESPN, and that can only mean good things for serious NFL fans. I’m pretty stoked to watch this game, which will pit Peyton Manning and talented receivers Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker against Matt Ryan and equally talented [if not more talented] Roddy White and Julio Jones.

The Denver Peyton’s had a big victory against the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday night, and the Falcons put a southern beat down on the Kansas City Chiefs.

Manning is going to keep the Denver offense moving, which will make this game a close one, but I’m too infatuated with the Falcons offense to pick against them. This one could come back to burn me, but I’ll go with the birds.

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Travis Rand and Kris Kauffman collaborate every week to bring you a preview of each and every NFL game. We strive to answer any questions the readers ask, and as always, be the first place you go to get your NFL knowledge. Be sure to check back on Totally Biased for extensive NFL coverage.

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