Totally Biased NFL Picks: Week 16

My adoring fans, I owe you my deepest apologies.

For the last five weeks, you have been tortured with Kris’ insolent babbling about The Kris Kauffman Experience, and all this other BS. Well, not this week! I, Travis, will be walking you through this week’s action, since I clobbered Kris with a crushing one game victory in Week 15.

Along with the Colts, and Chiefs, I have proved that anything is possible. The Packers were upset in Arrowhead Stadium by Kyle Orton and the Kansas City crimson, and Dan Orlovsky stunned the Titans with a big victory in Indy. The Giants and Eli Manning proved that they’re still… Well… The Giants and Eli Manning, by blowing a very winnable game against the NFC East rival Washington Redskins. Tebow was no match for New England, as Brady soared for 320 passing yards en route to a 41-23 victory.

Other highlights included a huge Chargers win on Sunday night over the stumbling Baltimore Ravens, a Cincy win over St. Louis, and of course, our Lock of the Week Atlanta Falcons dismantling the Jags on Thursday night.

This week proves vital, with plenty on the line all around the league. The G-Men travel ALL the way to MetLife Stadium to play the Jets, with the season on the brink of ending for either team, while the Cowboys play host to a comeback Eagles squad. The Packers will take the field on Christmas night, and look to rebound against the Bears and mistake prone quarterback, Caleb Hanie. The big game however isn’t until Monday night, when Atlanta must travel to the Big Easy to take on Drew Brees and the Saints. Look for the N’awlins gunslinger to dig away at Dan Marino’s illustrious single season passing record, and the Saints captain can even overtake the HOF’er if he can put up 304 yards on the Falcons, something he has done 11 times this year already. Move over #13.

Season Standings 

Kris: 85 – 48
Travis: 83 – 50
Lock of the Week: 8 – 1


Trav: Houston Texans
Kris: Houston Texans

Kris: Houston showed it’s true offensive colors last week losing to the sneaky Panthers. If the Texans plan on making a run in the playoffs TJ Yates must play better. The Colts on the other hand are on an impressive one-game winning streak. THAT being said. Texans win, because their defense will be too much for Dan Orlovsky and the Colts.

Trav: Cincinnati Bengals
Kris: Arizona Cardinals

Trav: Arizona forced OT last week against the Browns, and was able to win their third game this season in extra time. Cincy struggled with a poor Rams team, and has been looking weaker the past few games. I like Cincy to really button it up for a potential playoff trip, so I think they handle Arizona this week. Take the Bengals with confidence.

Trav: Pittsburgh Steelers
Kris: Pittsburgh Steelers

Kris: Well, Pittsburgh lost. Putting up 3 points against the 49ers defense is NOT how you prepare for the playoffs. 3 points? That’s it? Give me a break, the Steelers would have been better off starting Charlie Batch instead of the hobbled Big Ben. Oh, and the Rams… stink. Pitt gets the win, because that defense should squander any Rams offense. Lock of The Week… Bitches.

Trav: Denver Broncos
Kris: Denver Broncos

Trav: Does it make me a bad person that I took this game, only so Kris couldn’t write about it? Yes, it probably does. Do I care? No. But to make Kris happy… Tim Tebow wins game (except for those against good teams). Therefore, the Broncos should be able to dispose of a Buffalo team that just lost one to Miami.

Trav: New York Giants
Kris: New York Giants

Trav: Perhaps the only game of the year that home field advantage doesn’t mean a damn thing. The Giants need this game badly, as do the Jets. This one is going to come down to whoever wants it more. The way Big Blue has been playing, it’s hard to believe them really coming out strong, but I know this team will get itself ready. Look for the G-Men to remind people why they opened up the year 6-3.

Trav: Tennessee Titans
Kris: Tennessee Titans

Kris: This game should be a good one! Lots of penalties, turnovers and 2nd-string quarterbacks. Im biased, what can I say. Tennessee wins.

Trav: New England Patriots
Kris: New England Patriots

Kris: As an avid Patriots fan, I fear for Tom Brady everytime he faces the Dolphins. He has had plenty of crappy games against Miami. But, there is too much on the line for the Patriots, with now in control of the #1 seed and seemingly marching into the playoffs, they should win this game. Miami has made a great push for the not-so-shitty 6-10 team award.

Trav: Baltimore Ravens
Kris: Baltimore Ravens

Trav: To win the Superbowl, a team must put together three or four good games in a row, depending on if they get a first round bye. As of right now, Baltimore is one of the teams in the AFC that I can’t imagine locking it down during crunch time. They lost to the Titans early on, looked awful on national television against the Jaguars, somehow found a way to lose in Seattle, and most recently got lit up by Philip Rivers. Baltimore will easily handle Cleveland, but let it be known I don’t see them going far in the postseason.

Trav: Kansas City Chiefs
Kris: Kansas City Chiefs

Kris: The Chiefs may be my new favorite team. Kansas City shut down the leagues most STATISTICAL quarterback, and now hosts the Raiders. Oakland, on the verge of winning their 8th game of the season, had a complete collapse to the hands of Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson, losing 28-27 in the final 2 minutes.

Trav: Washington Redskins
Kris: Washington Redskins

Trav: Dad, I want to take Minny. I really do. I’m serious. But do you know how many times on random Sunday’s I say: “Wow… I really should’ve gone with Minnesota”. Exactly.

Trav: Carolina Panthers
Kris: Carolina Panthers

Kris: Wow, the Bucs stink. Carolina is playing at home and are coming off an upset win over the Texans, I dont see why they would lose to Tampa.

Trav: Detroit Lions
Kris:  Detroit Lions

Trav: One of the best games of the weekend, this matchup in Motor City is our Hazard Pick of the Week. Although the records might show differently, this game will be closer than most imagine. Philip Rivers has limited his turnovers recently, and could pose problems for the Detroit secondary. Calvin Johnson however, is coming off of a 9 reception, 214 yard thrashing of the Oakland Raiders. I like Detroit, with Stafford and the Silver and Blue playing at home.

Trav: Dallas Cowboys
Kris: Dallas Cowboys

Kris: This is set to be a great game, Philadelphia is technically not disqualified from the playoffs just yet and Dallas is clinging onto the division lead by a thread. I think Dallas will be too much for the Eagles. With Michael Vick back, the Eagles are sure to put up a good fight against the ‘Boys.

Trav: San Francisco 49’ers
Kris: Seattle Seahawks

Kris: I don’t know why I’m picking the Seahawks after the 49ers’ showing against the Steelers, but I am. I just have a good feeling about the ‘Hawks who have won 5 straight games. Go Seahawks!

Trav: Green Bay Packers
Kris: Green Bay Packers

Trav: The Packers needed to lose. It’s simply a fact. It was a humbling experience for them, and I’m fully confident that Rodgers will come out on Christmas night, and take everything out on the Bears. Although Chicago has a stellar defense, they were just torched by the Seahawks for 38 points. Aaron Rodgers > Tavaris Jackson.

Trav: New Orleans Saints
Kris: New Orleans Saints

Trav: I couldn’t find the actual number anywhere, so, like any respectable journalist, I did it myself. I’ve always noticed that Drew Brees, while playing at home, cannot seem to lose on Monday Night Football. I took to the world wide interwebz to find out how accurate my prediction was, and the numbers below prove everything.

Drew Brees: 5-2, 162/239, 16 TD’s, 7 INT

Even though those numbers are great, they still don’t tell the whole story. Since 2009, Brees is 4-0 at the Mercedes Benz Superdome on MNF, with 15 TD’s and only one interception. That includes a game against the Pats where he went 18/23 with 371 yards and five touchdowns. Ouch.

Oh, for the record, two of those five wins are against Atlanta ;)


Thanks to all our returning readers, and new ones alike. I hope you enjoyed the picks, and be sure to check back next week as we wrap up the regular season. In the mean time, let us know how YOU did, and if you have any questions about our picks, the league, or any players in specific, be sure to let us know.

Also, if you haven’t already, click to check us out on Facebook and Twitter!

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