This Week’s Totally Biased Tidbits: A Social Stigma, The End of A Lockout, Soulja Boy, and Much More

Well, well, well, here we are… again. If you missed the last Tidbit’s segment, then please enlighten yourself by reading it here, as Justin Yattaw did a tremendous job highlighting everything that was, and sill is, wrong with our society.

If you are unfamiliar with our Tidbit pieces, then allow me to introduce you. Below, you will find a handful of things that are on our mind here at Totally Biased, but they might not be long enough, or worthwhile enough to cover an entire article. Thus, we cram them all together, and throw in a handful of humor, and a pinch of douche [I often use a tad more] and BAM… We have our Tidbits.

This week we were able to celebrate one of the most pointless holidays ever, and I decided to commemorate it by writing absolutely nothing pertaining to it. Although, I often wonder if Native American families celebrate it or not. I digress. I also discuss the National Basketball Association ending it’s lockout, and even delve into the rare subject of Soulja Boy… This should be interesting.

The Single Most Annoying Thing on Planet Earth

There are wars being waged in 3rd world countries, children starving all over the place, and global warming is killing innocent little Polar Bears. If you took all these, and combined them by the number of our national debt [add it to the list], it would STILL fail in comparison to how annoying this is.

Talking in the God-damn movie theater. I simply, do not, under any circumstances, understand why anyone thinks it’s ok.

You know how you watch something on T.V., and the main characters are making fun of people who do a particular thing, and everyone in your living room goes “Oh man, do I HATE  it when I see people do that”! You know the crazy thing is, people actually do those things they’re making fun of, or we wouldn’t have someone to base it on.

Ten bucks says he was killed before he got to his car...

Talking in the movies is one of those things. Literally, no one on Earth enjoys hearing you talk. I paid 19.00 for these two tickets, and the absolute last thing I want to hear is you chatting it up with your best friend while I’m trying to enjoy my popcorn and tell Adie to pass the candy that we illegally smuggled into this theater. A prime example. A few days ago I went to go see the latest film in the Twilight Saga. Why? Because I’m a nice boyfriend, and because it goes a long way for the person I love, and also for me. Guys, you know what I mean. Anyways, we get there a little late, and I’m thinking we might not get seats. Thankfully, there was plenty of room in the theater, and I mean PLENTY. Lo’ and behold, four teenage girls walk in, and plop themselves down right behind us. Stay with me here, it’s just getting good.

They’re fairly noisy, but settle down after a bit. Then something crazy happens. Edward, the vampire guy in this movie series, begins talking “Vamp” with another character. This lasts a full 45 seconds. About halfway through, we hear one of the girls shuffle through her bag, and then say to her friend, “Wait, what’d he say?!”… Bitch, he’s been speaking in another language for the last three scenes! Quit rummaging through your fanny pack, and keep your eyes on the screen, before I pluck them out with a wrench and keep them on my nightstand as a trophy of sorts.

Let the Brown Stay Brown

Without using names, I’m going to let you in on a little story that I find imperative to success.

My friend was a member of a team of people with, of course, one person calling the shots. About 60 people answered to the head honcho, with my friend being in his inner circle. When my friend realized that some people weren’t performing up to standards, he spoke to the big dog about it.

He essentially told him, those people were FUBAR. Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. They were shit. They were… Brown. He said, “why waste your time trying to teach the brown? They’re always going to be horrible, so just let them linger. The others, they have potential. Spend time crafting them, and molding them in your image.”

The moral of the story is, act dumb from the get-go, and if you can muster up some energy to drool on yourself, go for it. Because when your stuck at a dead end job that you only use to get some cash since your a full-time student, Brown doesn’t look so bad.

Yep, that's right! Lockout is over, the only question that remains is... Does anyone REALLY care?

NBA Lockout Ends

It’s fairly easy to keep this one short and sweet.

The four major sports all vie for viewers, although it is rare that they compete against one another, as they occasionally change schedules to accommodate other leagues. For example, the NFL will take off their Sunday Night Football game, if the MLB playoff’s are on that night. With that being said, everyone still has a favorite sport, and a least favorite.

The NFL? They knew how much money was at stake, and the risk they ran getting fans back in the seat with some bullshit “shortened season”. What did they do? Settled it like men, and got business down, albeit just in the nick of time.

The MLB? Well, the sport with by far the richest contracts, thus, the greediest bastards of all greedy bastards, didn’t even let their CBA expire, signing a five year extension a mere month after the St. Louis Cardinals captured their World Series Championship.

Wanna know why nobody who has an IQ over 50 likes the NBA?

They decided to waste two months, and opt for some bogus 62 game season, instead of the usual 82. After one of their biggest seasons ever, they let this shit happen. That’s why the NBA will always be at the bottom. And by bottom I still mean above hockey.

Black Friday Shopping … *Shudder*

I recently went Black Friday shopping for the first time ever, and I return here to report to you, my loyal and trusty readers, some of the things to look out for, for when you decide to venture out into the public on this special retail shopping filled day.

For anyone unaware about what exactly Black Friday is, allow me to enlighten you. I’m kidding. I don’t have time to waste on people like you. Tell your realtor to start looking for a real house, because you can’t support your family any longer from underneath the rock you currently call home.

I always kind of thought it was a bit of a myth, but it turns out, there are some amazing deals to be had. That doesn’t mean I’m waking up at midnight anytime soon, but I was A-OK with going in at 9 am. Old Navy had some amazing deals on clothes, as did Bath and Body for some stuff for the female gift recipients on your list. Best Buy of course was advertised left and right for what they were bringing to the table, although, the line up and down almost every aisle turned me off pretty quickly.

All in all, I would say that Black Friday is definitely worth a bit of a look, especially if you need to pick up only one or two gifts, but for a handful of people. Just… ya know… don’t get trampled on.

Soulja Boy… What. The. Fuck.

There is literally nothing else to say. The man is absolutely horrendous. From the dancing, the horrible rapping, and the tossing of skateboards, this is the single worst thing I’ve ever seen. That’s why I’m here to share it with you.

Soulja Boy – Bammer Bammer Bammer

Lovin The FB … Not Facebook

I was recently approached at a restaurant by someone I went to high school with, who let me know that each time he reads our articles, him and a few of his friends crowd around the laptop and each get a good laugh. My first reaction was of course… “One laptop? How about you all bust out the mac books, and you guys can have read aloud time, so we can get some more views up in this shit.” This was the driving force behind this little bit here. There is nothing that Justin, Kris, or myself, enjoy hearing more than some feedback. Whether it be good, bad, or some criticism on how to improve our site, we love it.

From our family members, to our co-workers, and our close friends, and everyone in-between, there is nothing quite like putting a face to one of the 75-100 views we get every day. We have been growing week by week, setting new highs for the last five of them, and we strive with each and every article to make you laugh, make you think, and make you wonder just what the fuck you were doing before you probably accidentally clicked our links.

In Conclusion…

That about sums it up for this week’s Tidbits, be sure to check out our articles in the future!

P.S. If I see you talking in the theater, I’m breaking your neck. Without hesitation.

One Response to “This Week’s Totally Biased Tidbits: A Social Stigma, The End of A Lockout, Soulja Boy, and Much More”
  1. Vivian says:

    Loved the article, but I have to say, there have been times when the people sitting behind me with running commentary were better than the movie (granted this rarely happens-but it DOES happen). Keep up all the great articles. Always a treat!

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