Totally Biased Top 10: Dream Match-Ups for Superbowl XLVI

When the NFL season opened, all 31 NFL teams had a legitimate shot of making the Superbowl [Sorry, Indianapolis, you never stood a chance]. As the weeks pass, the leaves fall, and you start cursing the impending snow, teams will slowly begin to fall out of the chase. Think back to late August, when experts around the league were dreaming of an Eagles post-season push, or how this season would finally be the one for the San Diego Chargers.

Now, as Thanksgiving is just around the corner, we begin to get a much better idea of which teams will make the playoffs in both conferences, and we are able to confidently predict some of the potential Superbowl match-ups. There are teams who are not yet mathematically eliminated, like the Tennessee Titans, or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, but you won’t find that match-up below. Why? Because I’d rather kill myself then watch that garbage.

What you will find below, is a list of ten match-ups that fans would love to see. Myself and Patrick Cormier, a featured author on this piece, tried to vary the teams as much as possible, to give everyone something to dream about, even if it does seem a little farfetched. Enjoy the list, and let us know in the comments what Superbowl match-up YOU would love to see!

10. Chicago Bears vs Denver Broncos

Cutler is under the impression they invented shoulder pads solely for the purpose of looking like a bitch...

Pat: Now, I know what ya’ll are thinking: this is the most far-fetched Super Bowl matchup in history. I can hear you now: “There’s no way Jay Cutler can make it through a big time playoff game without either faking an injury or throwing 5 picks! The Bears couldn’t possibly make it to the Super Bowl!” Wait, what? That’s not what you were going to say? You were going to say that Mr. Eight-Passes-A-Game Tim Tebow probably won’t make the playoffs let alone the Super Bowl? Ha! Keep thinking that while John Fox, Elway and Co. are busy revolutionizing the NFL.

The reasons for this dream matchup should be obvious. Even though most members of the 2008 Bronco squad are no longer with the team and McDouchebag was fired, the fan base still loathes Jay Cutler. The guy took a giant dump on the city of Denver, saying that, among other things: “Bears fans are a 9, Broncos fans are a 6”. Broncos fans would like nothing more than to induce Cutler’s pouty face/shoulderpad grabbing routine that they got all too familiar with during his tenure in Denver on the grandest stage of them all. But, like I said, this will probably never happen because Cutler would just fake an injury or something. So, we’ll have to settle for the regular season matchup in Denver.

Prediction: Denver Broncos 35-6 … Cutler throws 5 picks (all to Champ Bailey), and promptly leaves the game in the 3rd quarter complaining of some obscure vaginal disease [Editors Note: So blatantly biased… He’s a natural – Trav].

It would mark the first time in any of the four major sports that two brothers competed as HC's for a title

9. San Francisco 49’ers vs Baltimore Ravens

Trav: Not enough can be said about what Jim Harbaugh has done for San Fran. Bill Walsh, one of the greatest coaches in NFL history, also came from Stanford University, just like Jim has done. Amazingly, both of them run a well oiled, West Coast machine. Featuring short passes, a heavy dose of Frank Gore, and a good defense, the sky is the limit for San Fran. John Harbaugh, the Head Coach of the Baltimore Ravens, has had fantastic games this season, and a handful of head scratchers. Regardless of the roller coaster type season, the Ravens rank 6th against the pass, and 3rd against the run, making them a potential playoff Cinderella.

Prediction: Baltimore Ravens 27-24 … I think this game has the potential to be the closest game on the list, with both teams sporting great defenses. I think Harbaugh would have his team ready for a close game no matter how the rest of the season plays out… See what I did there? The only true question is just how real are the Niners? The NFC West is downright pathetic, so the post season will have to answer that question for us.

The only person more injury prone that Darren McFadden? I'm kidding. Nobody,

8. Atlanta Falcons vs Oakland Raiders

Pat: This is assuming Oakland beats out Denver for the AFC West title, which, I think we can all agree, is a ludicrous assumption. Even more ludicrous is assuming Carson Palmer can bring down his 2.3 INT per game average. However, if Oakland can overcome such tall tasks, and Atlanta can make it past Green Bay, this matchup would be very interesting. The prospect of back-to-back draft picks going head to head in the super bowl (Matty Ice and Run DMC), is intriguing, to say the least. Not to mention, as much as I hate to admit it, the Raiders going all the way to the Super Bowl after Al Davis’ passing would be an incredible story.

Prediction: Atlanta Falcons 28-10 … The Raiders are outmatched here, no matter how much they may want to “just win baby” in honor of The Crypt Keeper [Editors Note: Fantastic nickname – Trav].

It's a shame Indy won't be competing this year... A real shame ;)

7. New York Giants vs New York Jets

Trav: There is a solid chance the Big Apple would blow up if such a match-up were going to take place. The Jets are in a bit of a skid though, but a lot has to be said for what Rex Ryan has done for this team the last few years. He has coached Gang Green to two straight AFC Championship games, and the thought of ANYONE but Mark Sanchez quarterbacking this team makes you wonder what he could’ve accomplished. Big Blue is in a brutal six game stretch, but with two remaining games against Dallas, they could probably lose every other game BUT those two, and still win the NFC East.

Prediction: New York Giants 24-14 … Not exactly the most exciting game to watch, but the media would have a blast with it. Both teams can talk a fair amount of shit, so they would be making plenty of headlines. The Giants offense can handle Gang Green’s D, but I don’t know about vice versa…

6. Detroit Lions vs Cincinnati Bengals

Pat: Ah, the crème de la crème of Cinderella matchups. It doesn’t get anymore Disney than this. If you were to ask anyone three years ago (after their winless season) if the Lions would be legitimate super bowl contenders in 2011, they either would have laughed at you or sent you to a mental hospital. But, the Lions are for real, in contention, and are there to stay. The Bengals have their own legacy of unrivaled suckitude, and were the butt of many a joke this offseason. But, with Andy “The Great Orange Hope” Dalton and newly drafted A.J. Green running the show, they now find themselves a mere one game out of the AFC North.

Prediction: Detroit Lions 30-17… This game would be no contest. Stafford and Megatron would simply be too much to handle for the Bengals defense, meanwhile there’s no way their offensive line could handle A Boy Named Suh.

Does anyone outside of Pittsburgh even like this team?... Didn't think so.

5. Green Bay Packers vs Pittsburgh Steelers

Trav: The real question here is who DOESN’T love a Superbowl rematch? Especially since the first time these teams matched up, it came down to the wire. The Packers have a phenomenal offense, no question, but their defense leaves much to be desired. They did a great job shutting down Christian Ponder on Monday Night, but then again, I know a couple Little Lad teams raised on Munjoy Hill who could probably shut down the Vikings anemic offense. The Steelers have one of the leagues best defenses yet again, and Mike Wallace and Big Ben have been raising hell on cornerbacks all season.

Prediction: Steelers 28-24 … Call it a long shot, but I think if Pittsburgh’s defense steps up, this is their game to win. Regardless of how good Green Bay’s offense is, almost every defensive minded squad comes from the AFC this season, which means their toughest game all year could be the Superbowl.

4. New Orleans Saints vs Pittsburgh Steelers

Pat: Two recent super bowl winning powerhouses going head to head in a good ol’ fashioned heavyweight bout. Instant classic wouldn’t even begin to describe this game. As if the Super Bowl wasn’t hyped enough, we have 2 successful franchises, 2 franchise QB’s, 2 great coaches, and 1.5 great defenses going at it.

Prediction: Steelers 24-21 … This one would no doubt go down to the wire. As depressing as it is to think the raper could win another Super Bowl, I just can’t see the Saints D slowing down the Steelers offense, as inconsistent as it may be. A valiant effort by Brees against a superior Pittsburgh defense just isn’t good enough in this one.

The single worst moment in Tony Romo's life = The single greatest moment in mine

3. Dallas Cowboys vs Houston Texans

Trav: Sporting one of the quickest, and deadliest offenses in the AFC, the Houston Texans were on the fast track for Indy, until they were derailed by Matt Schaub’s foot injury. Sounds just like classic, Texans luck. The one year Peyton is out, and the one year the SB is in Indy… and Schaub goes out for the year. Ouch. Currently being QB’ed by Matt Leinart, this team is a run first squad anyhow. Plus, with the extra month the Texans would be playing if they did indeed make the Superbowl, there’s always a chance Schaub comes back. The Cowboys need to make a strong end of the season push to edge out Chicago and Detroit for wildcard spots, if they can’t catch the G-Men for the East. Obviously, they won’t. No doubt, Dallas has an explosive team, with DeMarco Murray shredding defenses, and a fantastic core of Witten, Dez, and Austin.

Prediction: Dallas Cowboys 35-24 … If Leinart is calling plays for this team, I’m taking Dallas all the way. If Schaub can come back around playoff time, I definitely think it would be a fantastic match-up, with a plethora of points put up on the board. Arian Foster vs DeMarcus Ware is a match-up that America needs to see.

2. Green Bay Packers vs New England Patriots

Pat: The Hooded One and his Boy Wonder return to the Super Bowl after a much deserved drought to face the returning champs. A match made in heaven! With both teams lacking a legitimate defense with 2 stellar QB’s, this would be a wild one from start to finish, a game with the potential to redefine the term “shoot-out”.

Prediction: Patriots 40-35 … As great as Aaron Rodgers is, I can’t see the Pats letting this chance for redemption go to waste. Make no mistake, this team is motivated and has some serious fire. Never underestimate Belichick’s ability to out-gameplan and out-film (wink wink) any opponent.

They're both elite. Both on the exact same level... ;)

1. New York Giants vs New England Patriots

Trav: It is quite a fantastic thing when bias meets fact in a head on collision. Best Superbowl of the last ten years, and top five all time would be when the G-Men and Pats matched up in Superbowl 42. When these two teams met again, earlier this season, the Patriots made a last minute drive to take the lead, only to be one upped by Manning on a last SECOND drive. The media gets what they want, with a fantastic “Boston vs New York” tagline, and I get what I want, which is another shot to rub it in the face of Pats fans everywhere [and they are EVERYwhere around here].

Prediction: New York Giants 27-21 … The logic here is simple, so there’s no way to lose anyone. Superbowl 42? Giants by three. Week 9, 2011 NFL season? Giants by four. These teams are like the perfect jigsaw puzzle. The ONLY way to stop Brady, is to sack him, and force him to make bad throws. The best way to beat the Giants? Attack a weak secondary, a la, Welker, Gronk, Hernandez, etc. That being said, I can’t pick the Pats. Why? Because, well, I’m biased… but it would also be stupid.


It will be interesting to look back, on February 5th, and see if one of our match-ups here made it to the big dance. I’d like to thank Pat Cormier, for doing an incredible job with his write ups, even though he’s a pathetic Denver Bronco fan. Expect to see more of Pattycakes in the near future. Hey, we all need shitty nicknames, right?

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