A Totally Biased Rant: The Fables of Aesop

The Lion and the Mouse. The Crow and the Pitcher. The Fox and the Grapes. Most famously, the Tortoise and the Hare. There are dozens of tales attributed to the Legendary slave-turned story-teller, Aesop, a humble man who lived in ancient Greece. He mesmerized all those who heard his tales of simple occurences, and taught to them important moral life’s lessons. These stories were never told as “truth,” and were used merely as tools to teach these lessons, important things that people of any age could gain integrity, kindness or compassion from.

I’m here to talk about one of those fables. Namely, the Boy Who Cried Wolf. The story goes that a young boy, a shepherd, was tending to his flock of sheep. Since he was bored, and thought it to be good sport, he cried out, “Wolf! Wolf!” to gain the attention of nearby villagers. They came dashing to his rescue, only to find him keeled over in laughter, amused at his own trickery. They returned to their homes, and after a while, the boy once again grew bored, and called out for help. The villagers arrived only to find him, once again, enjoying himself at their expense. They quickly grew tired of his petty trickery and of his dishonest cries, leaving him alone once more. In an ironic twist of fate after fooling those who were willing to lend their help, a wolf emerged from the nearby woods and stalked the flock. Despite his desperate, urgent pleas for help, the villagers had grown weary of the boy and were no longer willing to aid him. The boy watched in utter helplessness as the sheep he was entrusted to watch were torn apart, the flock entirely destroyed.

The obvious lesson here? Liars cannot be believed, even when they speak the truth.

Now, normally, I’m not one to make any sort of bold, crass accusations. I’ll say my piece behind closed doors, turn the other cheek, and ignore ignorance as it should so be ignored. But, lately, I’ve found myself victimized and slandered by one such liar. Who spreads dishonesty and dissent as if it were a disease. Who champions themself a hero, when in reality all they are is a sniveling, smarmy sycophant. Who has lied to others so much that they have begun to deceive even themselves. Who’s told bold-faced lies without hesitation. And of all of that, if there had been any hesitation in it, I wouldn’t be spending my time typing this. But, this person did so without cause or care, simply to deflect responsibility from themselves as they usually do while drawing the veil over everyone’s eyes, as they usually do. And if they hadn’t done so, I wouldn’t be explaining to everyone I know what kind of person this really is. But ya know what? They did do that. They lied. They lied about me. And if they want to be a coward and hide from the truth, then I’ll make sure the truth comes back to them. However I have to. And if they don’t like it? Maybe they shouldn’t have started lying in the first place.

Let’s begin with the life this person leads. Or, perhaps more accurately, the life they claim to lead. That is to say, a life of excess and exuberance, where every day is lived to whatever whims you see fit. Where you can subject and submit yourself to whatever pleasure you desire, or revel in what substance you wish. Where hard work and vigilance has paid off and granted you the oppurtunity to kick back and relax for however long you want. Where whatever partner you want is just a phone call away, without repercussion. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I’m sure this person would have you believe it is. Unfortunately, in reality, this person is a jobless, leeching lowlife who steals from their family to support an ongoing drug habit, in addition to partying and getting drunk whenever the oppurtunity arises. The drug problem you ask? See, therein lies part of what makes this person such a joke of a human being. It isn’t heroin, crack, coke, or meth. If the problem were that severe, then you could at least be sympathetic. This person? They’re a fucking pothead. And they’re such a useless peice of shit that they lie about having a job and steal things they don’t think anyone will notice is missing to sell for their habit. Are you fucking kidding me?!

The proof is in the pudding. For months upon months upon months, they were driven to a local banquet center where they worked, dropped off, and were either picked up or found their way home some other way. What the family members dropping them off didn’t know, is they’d been fired months prior, and had been just walking off to wherever else they wanted to go after their ride had left. Fired? For what, you ask? Why, nothing short of breaking into the liquor cabinet. Fucking pathetic. And what did they claim had happened after the truth got out? They weren’t fired, they quit. Yeah. Sure thing.

Of course, despite the fact that everyone gets a big kick out of someone having “the munchies,” it means that this cretin basically tears through the house and eats whatever they want, whenever they want. You bought a pizza for yourself and had it set aside for when you got home from work? That sucks. It’s gone now. You had a sandwich leftover from lunch that you were saving for dinner? Nope. They ate it. You spent money on a nice, dressed up cake to treat yourself? That’s too bad. You didn’t even get to eat any of it. See where this is going? This may not have been a big deal if this piece of shit had a job and partly paid for their own way, but when you’ve got an expensive pot habit and can’t afford anything else so you eat everyone else’s food, then I guess it’s ok. And by, “it’s ok,” I mean, “you need to have you teeth kicked down your fuckin throat.”

So, what do you do all day when you get high, have no job, steal from your family, and eat everyone else’s food? Why, you rap, of course! I’m not sure what it is that skinny-ass, suburban white kids feel they have in common with black dudes who grow up amidst gang violence in destitute neighborhoods, but apparently there’s some sort of common ground I’m just not seeing. Either that, or these people (the white kids) are fuckin idiots and since they’re basically skid marks on the underpants of society, they feel they’ve suddenly got  a sense of rhythm, timing, flow and lyrical aptitude. Actually, I take that back. Saying that is an insult to actual skidmarks. When you’re a talentless piece of shit, you’re simply a talentless piece of shit. Doesn’t matter how high you get, everyone else who hears you still thinks you’re awful.

On top of all of this, of everything else they do that harms and insults those around them, it’s their absolute, utter inability to face responsibility and truth that makes them so loathsome.  This person has developed no talents, no skills, no abilities, no trades. Nothing. The only thing this person is good at is lying, and even then they’re still just not as slick as they’d like to think they are. Their entire family is under the impression that they’re regularly attending college, and passing with high honors, around a 3.5 – 4.0GPA, despite the fact that they’re failing nearly all of their classes, hardly ever making attendance despite their aforementioned claims. And when confronted with these facts, do they own up to it and admit they’re simply a failure? A complete and utter waste of life? Nope. Everyone else is wrong, that’s not what it is. Again, they shirk responsibility and avoid the truth at all costs. I wonder what sort of catastrophe will have to strike to shake some sense of reality into this person, if anything ever would be capable of doing so.

In addition to deflecting resonsibility and shielding themselves with lies, they also divert attention to others in dishonest, reprehensible ways. There is a particular associate I work with who happens to know this person, if only as an acquaintence. If I see this person more than once  or twice a week, then I say I’ve seen them “frequently,” that’s how little I’m around them. Despite that, and the fact that I don’t know them very well, I think of them as being a very kind, sweet person. I’m sure you’d be very hard pressed to find someone who thought otherwise. Now, when this dishonest, ignominious person is confronted about having girls over, that aren’t their girlfriend, what do they do? What anyone else would do? Tell people to “mind their business?” No. They fabricate a story claiming that I, and this certain associate I work with, have been seeing one another for months and months, which would mean I had seen her while I was with an ex of mine, just to keep people from asking any more questions. They would make sure to remind my ex that this associate and I still talk, and that “it would be ok, but she’s a whore.” When I spoke to this fellow associate about it, she had no idea, had never heard anything about it, and was, quite frankly, pretty taken aback and surprised by it. I’m not sure if anything else I could say would qualify someone as more of a lowlife than what I’ve already said, than if you make yourself into a complete and utter hypocrite because you’re too scared to face the truth. But, hey. No one will ever know, right?

To make matters even worse, this person threatened me when my ex and I mutually and amicably broke up, and in a courageous move, texted me a nasty message assuring me that if things ever went south, they’d “take care of it, personally.” Really? You’re gonna take care of it? I guess this person forgot that I’ve easily, EASILY got a hundred pounds on them, nevermind that, like a total and genuine little bitch, they ran FROM A GIRL. That’s right, you read it correctly. Bolted as fast as the eye can see from a girl. Why? Because they told her that their friend committed suicide because she “is such a loser.” I don’t know what else I need to say here to prove my point. On top of being a complete fucking piece of shit for talking about someone who just killed themselves like that, talk about the pot and the fuckin kettle… But, no. You’re right. I’ll be careful. Cuz you’ll “take care of it.” I’m so fuckin terrified. Please. Don’t. Tell me, has anyone ever texted you and promised they’d be after you if you hurt their sister? Does your girlfriend’s family know you’ve had your ex, and someone else over, since you and her started dating? Do the girls you’ve had over know about her?

Ya know, I really would’ve just continued my life and continued not caring one single iota about you if you’d just kept your mouth shut and hadn’t started lying about me… But, you didn’t do that, did you? You were a coward, as you usually are. You wanted to slander me, so I’ll return the favor in libel. The only difference? Where you’re telling lies, I’m telling the truth. It’s unfortunate that it came to this,  that you ran your mouth, as usual.

I think it sucks that people don’t know what kind of person you really are, and that it has to go to these lengths for people to actually find that out. You have no job, no skillsets, no talents, no abilities. You have no job, are wasting your education, spend your time drinking and smoking pot. I play 3 instruments, can write music for 5, can sight read music, am an accomplished artist, have a steady job, I have experience in kitchens and retail environments, and, clearly, despite never going back to school, I’m still a very capable writer. What do you do? Grow the fuck up and get back to fuckin reality. You’re useless, unless someone’s looking for someone to feed them a bunch of bullshit.

Do yourself the favor, and get familiar with Aesop. Because until you do, no one’s going to believe a word that comes out of your mouth.

And for anyone upset or surprised by finding these things out, then I suppose I should apologize. Because you certainly aren’t going to get an apology, much less the truth, from him.

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